I heard a question the other day. It made me think. A MTF asked about coming out to her family. She apparently wanted to tell everyone at a family reunion. She was concerned it would spoil the family gathering, and in the future.
I thought about my own extended family gatherings on both sides. They are well attended, by mostly conservative types. There are many true Christians, but the religious right runs prevalent. Telling them in a large group would be like a mouse stepping into a circle of alley cats.
My advice was to tell them in small groups or one at a time. Having come out to one person only, I’m not the best person to offer advice, but I think the news would be received better if you start with somebody who will support you when you tell the rest.
Also, my extended family aren’t close enough to trust with my vulnerable feelings. Even Caitlyn Jenner told close family members before she told the media. In my own transition, I have a plan and schedule. Even with that, there is no way I can plan for every contingency. There is just no way of knowing how the news will be received.
That’s why I suggested small groups, but with that said, It’s really not my place to suggest. My Transition is mine. Her transition is personal, too. Still, I’d love to hear how it goes if she decides to tell the whole bunch.
Some days, I want to tell the world, then I realize there are things that must be in place first. It’s not fear, just being practical.
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ReplyDeleteAllow this similar experience to share. My close cousin invited me to her wedding (1984). They knew more through family gossip than my direct say-so that I was finishing my M-F transition. I held back; I attended as my male self even though presenting as male was weird for me. The event was hers, not mine.
I lived a mostly private anonymity the past 30 years having competed transition (1985). My employer fired me because I am transsexual (2008) and boasted that I would never work again. I gradually realised their threat came true and realised there was no longer any point being private. I refuse to wear a NAZI symbol. I do not automatically come out to friends who have known me only as female; that seems pointless TMI. I no longer hide my past; my openness frees me. Likewise, I do not obligate this to any others; your choice must be at your timeline.
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