Crisis

Back in prehistoric times, before doctors got so smart, transgender people had to suffer. Have you ever wondered why there were so many eunuchs in biblical times? We are blessed to live in these times, the golden age.

Medical science is at the point where gender can be a variable issue. We can choose to follow our heart, or can we?

In my short life, I’ve seen advances in cosmetic surgery, and hormone therapy that were only dreamed about. Now, as I approach middle age, I can set things straight. Or can I?

If you’ve followed my posts or read back through the archives you know about my episode a few years ago. I had a mysterious illness that was never diagnosed. Without delving into specifics, I think it was an estrogen overdose. Along with the scary stuff, I had symptoms that resemble a body on HRT.

The scary stuff, however, could’ve killed me and I’m still dealing with residual effects. A short time after the incident, I finally came to grips with my transgender condition. My resolution to abandon denial has made a difference in my well being that I never had before. I look forward to my remaining years with hope.

As part of my regular reading this morning, I discovered an article that made a dent in that hope. Well, discovered might be the wrong word. I knew that having venous thrombosis in the past might effect my HRT qualification, but until I read the article, I never thought it might disqualify me.

The irony is I’m convinced the blood clot was caused by the hormone overdose. The very thing that made me so happy might affect my future happiness. What kind of cruel joke is that? Okay, I don’t have proof, and I haven’t consulted an HRT doctor yet, but . . .

Tears fall as I overreact and wish for a different life. I don’t know what caused the hormonal effects, but I’ve often said I would almost welcome the health risks to experience the rest of it, again. After a lifetime of trying to fill the role, with the poisoning effects of testosterone, I experienced the euphoria of feeling like I did before puberty and I need it back.

Would you risk your life for the effects of HRT? I will—I hope my doctor will approve. Then again, maybe I could be a eunuch. I grew up on a farm and we used to castrate animals. Anybody got a sharp knife and some salt?