In Between

When I announced my intention to re-launch his writing career, and bring it into my life as a woman, I discovered some interesting things.

As a male writer, I developed an image of a bearded, artistic, friendly guy. I wrote fiction in an exclusive market. Without too much success, I might add. Since beginning my transition, I’ve attended his writer’s events. I can’t grow the beard back, and I dress differently, so people noticed. Some of them stared, trying to figure out why I look familiar. The truth is I act differently, too.

I haven’t come out yet, but my network is wondering what happened to me. Before transition I wrote conservative stories that always end up in redemption. Now I write a different kind of fiction. I stared at his head shot the other day, trying to figure out who he was. I read his books and can’t imagine writing that stuff. It’s time for my career to transition but for now, I’m playing two roles.

As part of that role-playing game, I’m posting a daily blog here, keeping up with his three, and starting a new one for my writing career. In the interim, time is the enemy. My day job takes a lot, quality time as him, suffers. My authentic life does too.

Things will be different, when the world knows who I am, but I sat on the bed, the other day, wondering if I really had the energy for feminine expression. Until HRT, I have to work at presentation, and I was exhausted.

Then, on another day, during my writing time, I realized, In Transition posts had taken the whole session. I hadn’t worked on my current story for a week. Lately, I open my laptop to get back to my characters and it turns into a blog writing session. I need to take a vacation and do nothing but write fiction.

I once read an article about multitasking and the difference between men and women. The author claimed that women do it better. I never noticed one way or the other, but if it’s true, wouldn’t that be a good test for gender dysphoria?

So far, with only a few hiccups, I’ve been able to manage. A thought occurs, however. What would happen if I got mixed up, and posted about transgender on his blogs? Wouldn’t that be fun? It might be educational for his network, but I’m not ready for rejection from them.

By way of update, my new career is going well. I’m writing better than ever, and I have three books ready for editing. He has thirteen. Do any of you want to take a look and let me know what I need to fix?

Although I feel like a juggler who is about to fall off the stage, my act seems to be working. Still, I might loose my sanity, so pay attention. I don’t want to freak out twice.