F2M

I met a new acquaintance the other day. He is younger than me and we have something in common. For his privacy I will call him George. Anyway, we were waiting for the doors to open on our first day on a new job and I introduced myself.

He paused, apparently struggling with the name he was given at birth, but ended up saying, “My friends call me George.”

Because of the chest binder and the fact that I am trans, I knew George was, too. I asked, “Are you in transition?”

My question seemed to surprise him. Probably because of the conservative place where we live, and the fact that very few are accepting of people like us. I called him George and told him I was glad to meet him. I wanted to share my transition with him, but I didn’t. He mentioned how hard it is to get treatment when you don’t make lots of money and understanding doctors are few. Still, George is much closer to his goal than I am to mine, and that intimidated me.

In contemplation of that chance meeting, many thoughts came to mind. George is tossing away what I dearly wish for and I always had a hard time understanding that. You see, I hated being a boy. Yes, there’s a lot to be said for peeing standing up, but I will gladly give that up to be a woman.

That’s when it dawned on me and I realized something so basic, I’m ashamed I never thought of it before. The idea that Gender Dysphoria is all-inclusive. We didn’t chat about it, but George must’ve dealt with the same feelings I had. Our birth gender was confused. He must’ve hated the things in childhood that I craved.

There must’ve also been other similarities too. I played the game so well, that people call me masculine. He played the game and ended up with the traits I adore. We now have a ton of traits to undo. No matter the age when we jump on bus, society has an effect.

I envy George, however. He is much younger than I, and he will have the rest of his life to enjoy his choices.   

Now, after all of that, I understand, and I feel stupid for not realizing it before. More troubling to me, though, is why I didn’t tell George I am trans, too.

I love you guys.