Transgender Technology

If I were a drag queen, you might think the title of this post refers to panty girdles or breast forms. I’m not a drag queen, however, and my dysphoria is not about the clothes. At least, it hasn’t been since I was fourteen.

While writing the other day, I contemplated the changes in our world. Many lives have both improved and degraded in the last twenty years. Opportunities to live your dreams present themselves like at no other time in history. Transgender issues are going away.

As a twenty something year old, crossdresser I lived in fear of discovery. I tried to live in stealth, but my genderhad a way of "slipping" out. Like the time I wore a slip under my male clothes for a quick trip to the video rental store. While standing in line, the garment slipped out. I was mortified. Fear of my fellow man took over and I exited the store.

I don’t know why I chose to keep it on rather than just go to the store as a man, today, I would just finish the outfit. In those days, one just didn’t go to mainstream establishments dressed like a girl. Especially, not that early in the evening.

Life as a transgender woman is much easier. With the invention of the microcomputer and the Internet, many of us discovered we are not alone. Others have our same affliction. We all wish were born female.

I can read blogposts about similar experiences. Many of my sisters talk about their reasons and feelings behind what we do. In one post you might recognize, My sister talked about feeling pretty dressed as a girl, as opposed to feeling ugly as a boy. It was her chance to shine and feel better about herself. Before the Internet, most of us thought we were crazy. We didn’t know a boy playing with dolls wasn’t abnormal.

Shopping is easier, too. We no longer need to suffer the judgement and disapproval of salesclerks. Just go on a website, click and enter a credit card number. In my day, we could order from catalogs, but we still had to face the clerk behind the counter.

The Internet, and the media has made life safe for those who would. Most of us, (old timers) can tell you horror stories about the times when you could get arrested for crossdressing in public. Now, there are many who gravitate toward the lifestyle but I wonder if they are just bored. I suspect some of them can’t relate to feeling mis-gendered.

Still and all, there are myriad improvements, allowing transgender people the freedom to be. As a teenager, when I was seriously dealing with these issues, hoping and praying I could magically be the girl I wanted to be, the options were closed.

I read about Renae Richards in Penthouse Magazine. SRS was called Sex change operations, and the results were often tragic. Adding to the angst, was they were performed in some far off place in Europe and the cost was more money than I would see in a lifetime.

Now, medical technology and the science of gender reassignment have improved so much, it can be done with ease. The half-hearted transsexual now has the opportunity to live the life I fantasized about. Why couldn’t we get today’s successful results when I was fourteen? There is no doubt in my mind, I would’ve jumped at the chance. If only . . .

If the average life span is somewhere around ninety, I am in the last half of my life. I spent so much of it, fighting against my desires. I built a house of cards and a family. I have to consider, is it worth it now.

I also wonder, if technology hadn’t improved since I was fourteen, How many of us would’ve stayed in the closet? Would we have accepted our lot, and lived our lives in quiet desperation? I wonder about the kids coming out these days. I can’t believe they all have Gender Dysphoria. Are our feelings and secret desires becoming popular because of technology?

One thing is true, it is easier to be transgender these days, mostly because of technology. When I think of the generations that came before me, I wonder how many of them suffered in silence? How many of them gave up their desires because of fear? I wonder how many there were of us. I also wonder how many of them would’ve transitioned, had the technology been available.