Hey, Mom. Is Dad turning into a girl?



similar to the one I wear

That was the question my daughter asked the other day. She went on to explain why she’d asked. It seems I’m wearing a butterfly charm, on a chain around my neck. She claims I wear rings, and she listed other things, although her mother didn’t elaborate.

When I heard about her question, I laughed out loud. I didn’t confirm or deny the accusation, but I was proud of her astute observation. She’s always been that way. She’s not the only one to notice changes, however, other people look me over, but can’t put a finger on what’s different. You see, I haven’t told anyone.

They say I look good since I lost weight and shaved my beard, but they keep staring. They see it, even though they don’t know what it is. I’m not taking hormones yet. I haven’t even seen a therapist, but there is a quiet resolve in my soul. I’m in transition and there are days when the aches and pains of getting older subside, and I feel younger.

In several posts here, I’ve mentioned my suspected accidental estrogen overdose. I suspect, although I still don’t know, where it came from, but the symptoms were all there. I loved the positive effects even though the problems were scary.

Now, my body is fighting to be male. Body hair that had slowed and stopped has been growing thicker. Shaving is more frequent. Sometimes, it feels like fighting a losing battle, I need HRT. Still and all, my daughter thinks I’m turning into a girl and I am.

I’ve seen the view from the mountaintop and I will not go back. My quiet resolve shows through, but it’s hard. I feel like a flake when my mind doesn’t know what to do with a quiet afternoon. I try to remember what my masculine self would’ve done and I’m letting chores go, in favor of shopping at the thrift store.

I’m messed up, and people have noticed. I go from blissful self-control to a state of confusion as my mind tries to convince my body it is female. It’s worth the elevated high blood pressure, just to convince my body to get on board. I don’t know what’s hard about making the change. It did it before. Besides there are parts of me that never got the memo about being masculine.

Yes, Daughter. Your dad IS becoming a girl. It’s a daily battle of both mind and body. Adding fuel to dilemma is my transition from working nights to working days. I fall asleep in the afternoon and I’m awake at night. What better time than to dress in my chosen gender and go out on the town?

Still it would be better to dress that way all the time. I need a man to do all the masculine chores and I will do my nails. Yes I’m fighting a war, but he is a she, it’ll just take a little time to convince the powers that be.