Backpeddling

A few weeks ago, I posted a blog titled, It Ain’t About the Clothes. In that post, I wrote that the gender for which clothes were made doesn’t really matter to me. I went on to insinuate my feminine expression allows for frumpy. I tried to say my clothes aren’t that important. Lately, however, I discovered something.

Yes, foundation garments, shoes, and accessories are important for me to feel like a girl, but the other clothes are not. Androgynous is my style sometimes, but I prefer to say, I’m old and I’m frumpy and that’s what you get. Anyway . . .  

I caught myself planning what I will wear to a personal coming out event. The success of that milestone in my life will depend on how I am perceived as a woman. Whatever outfit I wear has everything to do with that.

While lying in bed, running my wardrobe through my head, I realized, like all genetic women, I’ve always done that. If I have someplace to be, I plan which clothes to wear to match the occasion.

While playing the part of a man, I took pleasure in watching genetics drive themselves crazy. They couldn’t make up their minds what to wear. Now, in transition, I find I’m in the same fix. For everyday outfits, I wear what’s convenient. When it’s important, I want to look fabulous.

For my coming out, I need to go shopping. No, maybe I can wear . . . Oh crap! It’s going to be bad weather. That changes the whole game.

I’m not really back-peddling my post from before. I admit that clothes sometimes DO matter. But the gender my clothes were made for doesn’t always. For some crossdessers, the thrill of presentation is the whole point. For me, though, being the woman I always wanted to be, is what I’m striving for. Dressing with feminine expression is one thing, but healing my soul is vital.

After GRS, I might think differently, but everyday clothes and makeup, aren’t that important to me right now. Still, I wish I were the kind of girl who looked pretty in a summer dress. I do indulge in shorts and tee shirts, but the tank top I want to wear, accentuates my male shoulders, so I will forbear.