I'm a traditional Old Broad

Or should that be Nontraditional?

I feel ashamed when I read posts by Cyristi Hart, when she talks about doing it with dignity. She takes pride in being a classy woman. I've noticed she isn't alone in that thinking. It's true that Transgender MTF people should be the prettiest women on the planet. Simply because it takes so long to get ready.

One of the things I like about the male role, (Besides standing up to pee), is getting ready quickly. In my fiction, I created a female character who is non traditional. She is very femminine, but like a guy, she gets ready on the fly. Shower, towel dried hair, mascara and lipstick. There are times when she primps and takes a while to dress. When she does, she pops eyeballs and turns heads, but mostly she can't be botherd.

I can't help believing I would be like that, if I were born female. Now, I have to shave, put on concealer and foundation just to get started. I wonder, though, how much identity coverup I would do if I moved away where nobody knew me.

When I finish with transition and if I go through with SRS, I wonder how much primping I will do. I'm an old broad, who cares. after all, isn't transition about who you are, not what you look like?

The Line, Unisex Bathrooms, & Broken Resolve

The Line

As you might’ve figured, I’m a rather large woman. I fill a 52D bra with no problem. I think it’s my XXY genes, but it might be fat, too. I wonder how that will change with HRT and when I finally get off my behind and get the exercise I need. Anyway, for now, It gives me pride. Well, except when I wear a T-shirt in male mode and my breasts sag.

I watched him in the reflective surface of the door, as he walked into a store one day. The first thing I thought was, he needs a bra. I took him home, put on a bra under the T-shirt and I was back. I love the line my bra makes across the front of my top. There are other reasons that I love my bras. I love the way my nipples feel against the fabric, but mostly, I love the line.

Bathrooms

Several years ago, during my man up period, I hung out at a local coffee shop. It was a national chain store, and my friends and I started hanging out there as soon as it opened. On one of my late night ventures the other day, I went to that coffee shop. When I went to use the bathrooms, I found they had converted some space into a unisex bathroom.

"Cool," I said, but I used the men’s anyway. I was dressed in semi male mode and didn’t think to use MY restroom. After all they put it there for me. I don’t like that coffee shop so I never go there, but if I do, I’m going to use my restroom.

Resolve

I’m having trouble lately. I want to be a woman so badly, but life is getting in the way. I read blogs written by my personal heroes and I feel I can do it, too. I can turn my fifty-six year old body into my desired gender. Then, my responsibilities get in the way. I look at my selfies and I see a woman with the torso of a linebacker. Even with varicose veins, my legs are okay. Although they look like toothpicks attached to the body of a man.

Dressing is going to take more work. Especially, if I want to attract a man. I know that many of you have passed this way before. You’ve navigated these waters and emerged as the woman you are. I’m drowning in the waters of self-doubt. Damn it’s hard to keep my vision in the daylight of responsibility.

Anyway, he might win, but I’ll get through it. May God bless you.