Fighting a Battle

Some of you will understand this post, others will think I’m crazy. First of all, let me say I am Francine. I am transgender, but my alter ego has other ideas. When I emerged as transgender-male to female, I gave up the old life, or so I thought. Everyday, I face the mirror with razor in hand trying to shave off the beard my alter ego has treasured for so long.

Everyday, he wins the battle. He’s afraid to face the world without the beard and I need it gone so my makeup won’t look like a joke. Damn I want it gone. If only I could get kidnapped by a demented group of laser hair removal specialists. They would remove the beard once and for all and he would have to deal with it.

There will come a time when I won’t need him anymore. Hell, I don’t need him now, but the life we temporarily live requires his presence. If only the world knew what kind of underwear I’m wearing . . .

He knows, and he tries to get me to grab a pair of shorts everyday. I’m winning the battle, though. I will be Francine and I’m going to throw a coming out party.

Does that sound crazy? I bet it does. As the subtitle of my blog says, I’m taking baby steps, even though my soul wants it over. I know it’s a gradual process, both mentally and physically. Wish my luck.

                                                             Love Francine